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Archives for June 2011

29
Jun 2011

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hi all,
It’s been a few days so I thought I would check in. So, it is finally happening. My hair is beginning to fall out. It started yesterday just a little bit but today it has been coming out a lot. I am finding my hair everywhere. It is stuck on my shirt, on the counters, on my pillows, etc. This morning in the shower a clump of hair fell out. Then tonight when I put my purse over my shoulder the strap grabbed my hair (like it sometimes does) only this time I looked down and there was yet another chunk under my purse strap. To me, as part of this process, losing my hair doesn’t make me anonymous anymore. It shows the world what I am going through. It’s taking away a piece of me that was given to me at birth. I never wanted any of this and to take away my hair when I am feeling so much better and energized from the chemo is just another blow to have to deal with. I can’t help but cry over this. I have always said that no matter what I will do whatever I need to do and that attitude has not changed. I am ready for this as much as I ever will be. Right now I pray for the strength on Friday to endure having my head shaved and I pray for the strength of my friends joining me at my appointment. I know in my heart that I will feel a lot better after getting my head shaved and getting my wig. This time beforehand is tough but yet another hurdle that I will get through.

On a bright note I am feeling a lot better and I still have another week before I get chemo round #2. Other than some fatigue I am feeling back to normal. On Monday evening I took the kids to their elementary school playground. The weather was gorgeous that night and it felt great to be alive! Then last night I got to watch Jacob play in his baseball game. Today was a busy day visiting with some family and friends. And tomorrow night I am hoping to go watch a swim meet where I will get to see my Ansley swim in a meet for the first time. This will be her third meet, the first one I am able to attend. Please no hugs if you see me as I am doing my best to stay clear of germs.

My Mom flew back home to Virginia today for some relaxation and scheduled doctor appointments. She returns Monday and my Dad returns Wednesday just in time for treatment #2 of 6.

Love,
Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

23
Jun 2011

Thursday, June 23, 2011

9812_Harp_displayI wanted to give everyone an update with how I am doing. I am beginning to feel better. I had thought last Sunday was my worst day but I had spoken too soon. The first part of this week was rough, very rough. But I believe I am past it now. I am still achy sore and fatigued but am able to manage through it the best I can.

I went back to the cancer center today and had my blood work drawn to check the important blood counts. The good news is that Neulesta shot I received the day after chemo is working because my white blood counts are higher today than right before I started chemo. They will continue to rise until my next chemo which will be 7/7. The white blood cells are the ones that fight infection so having high counts with these are good. My hemoglobin (red blood cells) count is lower than normal and so are my platelets. But they are “normal” counts expected with someone going through chemotherapy. The way I understand it is the red blood cells carry oxygen to your body and fatigue is a symptom if you are low here. You need higher levels of platelets to stop bleeding if it occurs and if you have lower levels you can bruise easily. I am no doctor but this is how I understand it. I feel good knowing what’s going on inside my body. It puts my mind at ease knowing my numbers.

I got to bring my Dad with me today to the cancer center. That was the first time he got to see where I am being treated. He said it was very nice. Other than myself there was only one other patient there so we had the place to ourself. Well, us and the woman who was playing the harp. A full sized harp and a lady was playing beautiful music for me. The harp is one of my favorite instruments to listen to and watch. It was very special.

In case you are wondering I still have my hair. It has not started falling out yet. My head is beginning to itch but that’s about it. They are predicting it will begin to fall out next week. That is why I have my appt set for July 1 for them to shave my head and fit and style my wig. Emotionally this will be a tough day for me.

I hope all of you are doing well.

Love,

Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

20
Jun 2011

Monday, June 20, 2011

Yay, I made it through the weekend! Yesterday was probably the worst day. This weekend I felt like I was in the first trimester of pregnancy and on top of that yesterday I felt like I had the flu (you know the body aches / can’t get comfortable type). I woke up this morning feeling better than I did yesterday morning so that is a great sign. I have not had any problems with sustaining my weight. My stomach feels more settled to have food in it so I continue to eat. The bland food is pretty boring though.

I was able to get out some over the weekend. Jacob had three soccer games and my Dad and I watched them while sitting in his car away from the sun and heat. I am so glad I got to see those games and watch him score two goals in the last game.

I was given another surprise yesterday from many of you. Allen spent all weekend long putting together a playlist of Kim’s Crew song requests that many of you passed along to me for inspiration. I was so touched by this. Thank you so much. I so far have many, many favorites and only have just begun to listen to them all. One of the first songs on there “I Will Survive” stuck out to me along with many others. Even Ansley’s request of Justin Beiber’s “Never Say Never” was so touching!

I was doing some thinking the other day. From the time I first noticed the lump until when I will be completely done with this whole process will be nine months. I carried both Jacob and Ansley for nine months each and was pretty miserable with pregnancy side effects. I guess I am now carrying a “chemo baby”. And just like I carried them for nine months to give them life I am now doing the same for myself.

I hope everyone had a great Father’s Day weekend. I know I feel so blessed to have spent mine with both my husband and dad.

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

17
Jun 2011

Friday, June 17, 2011

It’s been almost 24 hours now since my first chemo treatment. I don’t want to jinx myself but so far I am feeling pretty good. I hear day #3 is usually the worst so for those that will be in church on Sunday please say an extra prayer for me. Other than some tiredness and hand/ankle swelling that I had yesterday I felt for the most part pretty well. I am drinking a ton of water so that is helping to flush the drugs out of my body.

This afternoon I head back to the cancer center to get a shot in my arm which will help my white blood cell count not drop as low and come back up higher quicker. I thanked the doctor for saying he would like to give me the shot because my kids seem to bring home viruses left and right and even a cold could put me down pretty bad when you don’t have many white blood cells to fight off infections. Day 7 is when my white blood count will lower and then it will increase pretty rapidly as each day goes by. The side effect is bad bone pain. Doc said I can use my leftover narcotics from my recent surgery to help fight the pain.

I have a full supply of side effect medication. It is hard to keep track of what I need to take and when. I have never been a medicine person so this is all new to me. The anti-nausea medicine (Zofran) seems to be helping the most as well as the steriod I am on temporarily. I also have special mouthwash to help with dry mouth, canker sore meds if I get mouth sores, constipation meds, etc. My counter looks like a drug store!

Beautiful day here in Aurora. I plan to enjoy it very much!

Love,
Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

16
Jun 2011

Thursday, June 16, 2011

I am home now from the chemo. Feeling a little tired but overall feel great, so far. The process went well. Had a great private room that overlooked a flower garden, waterfall, and putting green. It was quiet there with only a few others getting their chemo at the same time. I came home to the purple pinwheels lining our sidewalk and driveway today and a huge purple flower on our garage door. I didn’t cry today until I came home and saw that scene. Tears of joy! Then I came inside and saw this amazing huge banner hanging in our family room that has a big purple flower in the middle with a ton of kind words from a lot of you. You all continue to amaze me. You all give me so much strength. I am so lucky to have you all as my friend. Thank you so much.

Love,

Kim

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Filed Under: Kim's Blog

15
Jun 2011

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I cannot believe what I saw tonight. Just like the night before my surgery how we had rain/sun and my friend Anne saw a huge brilliant rainbow… This evening once again it was raining with the sun shining away and what did I see out our front door – but a huge beautiful rainbow! It is the night before my chemotherapy starts and I see this rainbow. What a great sign from God. I feel peace.

Tonight I took my pre-chemo steroids. They are to prepare my body for tomorrow’s drugs.

My Dad arrived today. We had fun going to our usual restaurant with them for lunch today.

I am as ready as I will ever be. Jacob was right. I do feel happy that I am now doing something so the cancer won’t come back again. Let’s get this started. 9:00 a.m. tomorrow. I should be home in the early afternoon. Thank you to everyone for your continued prayers and gifts.

Love,

Kim

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Filed Under: Kim's Blog

11
Jun 2011

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Today has been a rough day for me. I have been tender sore all day. It is just basically uncomfortable to breath in or move around much. I am surprised by the amount of tenderness and pain from getting the port implanted. When I look at the area it just grosses me out. I think it grosses me out for two reasons 1) I can see it sticking underneath my skin and 2) I know that it means chemo is around the corner. I was hoping to be more mobile with more energy following the surgery but I am not and this is frustrating to me. I feel that I have a few days left before chemo and I wanted to enjoy the days, not being couped up at home uncomfortable and exhausted. Oh well. There is nothing I can do about it. I think if the sun were to shine today my spirits would feel better. Here’s hoping to a better day tomorrow.

Monday morning my Mom and I will be attending a chemo education class at the hospital. My Dad arrives Wednesday night and will be here along with Mom for a week and a half to help out. One of Allen’s biggest work weeks will be the week after my first chemo treatment and so both my parents will be here with me and the kids. The kids activities don’t stop just because their mother has breast cancer. I am glad Allen will be there with me during my chemo treatments. He has been there by my side every step of the way.

Love,
Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

9
Jun 2011

Thursday, June 9, 2011

63231_Pinwheels_displayToday I had my surgery and had the port put in. I am bruised and sore and glad to be home. I checked into the hospital at 12:45 and had my half hour surgery at 4:00 and was home around 6:30. You will never believe this but I had the most peaceful dream during surgery that my spirit was in the middle of a garden of beautiful purple flowers on a beautiful summer day with a light breeze swaying the tall flowers. What an impact these Kim’s Crew purple flowers have made in my life! In recovery I woke up and was confused when I saw Allen in the room and was wondering why he was in the operating room with me. I quickly realized I was in recovery and he laughed as I was slurring my words. The doc told me no baths for two weeks. Showers are good but no baths. My bath has always been the most relaxing part of my day.

When we pulled into our driveway coming home from the hospital our driveway and sidewalk were outlined in purple pinwheels. It was such an amazing sight. Thank you Melanie and Mishelle for letting the kids share in with your generosity. The sight brought tears of happiness to my eyes. My friends and family make me feel so loved and not forgotten.

Even though this surgery was easier than my last one it was still a surgery where I was put to sleep and cut open with a gift left inside. It was a big deal to me. A big impact for me today was when I was leaving recovery in my wheelchair to head home. The nurse said “good luck Kim. We’ll see you at the end of the summer for a more joyous occasion” (when I go back in and have the port removed once chemo is finished.). That will be a surgery to celebrate I thought as I was wheeled past the Women’s Imaging department where it all began just two short months ago.

54343_Pinwheels_with_kids_displayI thought of all my friends today. The nurse who pushed me down to the operating room was asking me all kinds of questions about how I found my lump, etc. She told me one of her very good friends was just diagnosed with breast cancer after finding a lump which she thought was nothing. The nurse said even though she’s a nurse she was having a hard time helping her friend through this. I told her about all of you and how many of you had mammograms done that were over due after my diagnosis.

Time to turn in. My pain meds just kicked in for the night. Next big milestone will be next Thursday with chemo treatment #1.

Love,

Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

8
Jun 2011

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Today I went wig shopping with my friend Melanie. I have to say I am pretty excited with what I picked out. I got a real hair wig that will match my current style and color. This wig will arrive in two weeks. No blonde or red hair for me. Sticking to what looks more like Kim. I also purchased something called a halo. It is hair (my color) that is only on the sides but the top is bald. You then wear really cute hats on top to hide the bald spot. I will post pictures soon. My six year old daughter Ansley loved trying on the halo and hats when I got home.

I just heard from the hospital. My port surgery is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon at 2:15. I should be out of there by 4-5. I need to report to the hospital at 12:45 pm. I am going to be starved tomorrow night as I cannot eat solids after midnight tonight and only have until 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning to drink clear liquids.

I stayed up late last night reading the book about what to expect with chemotherapy. Needless to say I didn’t sleep very well. But this morning I got to bring the kids to their first swim team practice. The sun felt awesome! I treasure this time with the kids before my treatment begins.

Love,

Kim

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Filed Under: Kim's Blog

6
Jun 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Well, the results from my tumor Oncotype DX test came in last Friday. Got the results as I was walking to school to pick up my kids. So, if you saw me crying at school last Friday that was why. I am in the intermediate risk category for having a recurrence. Closer to the low side versus the high side so that’s good. My risk for a recurrence is 14%. I want this number to be lower so my decision is sealed. I will be starting chemotherapy next Thursday, June 16 at 9:00 a.m. This Thursday I will have the surgery to get my port inserted. The port will be installed in my chest and this is where they will be giving me my drugs as well as drawing blood from. Today my Mom and I toured the chemo treatment area. It helped me to see where I will be spending my next few months. Today, I also visited my primary care physician. I caught a bad cold last week and thought I would get it checked out now in case it was more than a virus. After getting a round of chest x-rays it was confirmed it is just a virus. Hope I am better before Thursday.

I wanted to pass along some wisdom from Jacob, my 8 year old. He asked me last Friday if I got good news. I told him no, my test scores did not come back low. He knew this meant chemo. He then asked if I was scared and I said yes. He then said “remember how when you first found out about this how scared you were and you cried?”. I said, yes. “Well, as soon as you knew you were going to have surgery you were happy because they were going to get it out of you. I bet it will be the same with chemo. Once you get closer to chemo you will be happy because you will be doing something so it won’t come back again.”. I stared at him in amazement about how wise he was and told him “you are exactly right Jacob. Thank you for saying that. You are so right.”. He had no idea how much strength he gave me that day. I haven’t cried since.

Love,
Kim

Filed Under: Kim's Blog

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