Archives for May 2011

Okay, so now I am terrified. I met with the Oncologist today. My results aren’t back yet for the recurrence risk test but based on the information my doctor has to date he thinks I will not fall in the low risk category but most likely the intermediate risk category. This is his prediction and I won’t know for sure until the results come back (est June 4). If I happen to fall into the low risk category I will not need chemotherapy. If I fall in the intermediate/high risk category I will receive chemo. The chemo conversation today was frightening and the 10 year survival graph comparing with or without treatment options was scary to say the least. We were not talking about someone else today. We were talking about me.

Basically, I will need 6 rounds of chemo spaced three weeks apart. Why would I need chemo if my lymph nodes were clear you may ask? The doctor referred to it as insurance. To make sure any tiny particle of cancer that may have broken loose will be destroyed. I am young and in great health. The benefits outweigh the risks. That is what he says. I believe him. He has told me I will lose my hair, my mouth and all food will taste like cardboard, and I will be fatigued and nauseous. I keep reminding myself that he is still talking about me. I feel so healthy and great. Not for long. Oh yeah, and the kicker to all of this? I will have a port surgically implanted in my chest wall where they will feed me the drugs since my veins on my good arm will not be able to handle it all. It took my wrist three weeks to heal from one IV from my surgery!

Oh yeah, and after the chemotherapy ends I will then start my six weeks of radiation.

All of this just sucks. That is the best word I can use to describe this situation. Now, I look forward to Christmas because then I will be finally done getting my body abused. The next six months will be the longest of my life but it will be so worth it.

I see a shopping trip to the wig boutique in my near future. And, if I could just figure out a way to fast forward our clocks to December I’d be golden! 🙂

Love,
Kim

I met with the Radiation Oncologist yesterday. This is the doctor at the Cancer Center that will oversee my radiation treatments. She was super nice and caring. She took the time to explain the whole process to me and was patient in answering all kinds of questions. I only cried once while there when she asked if I had kids and wanted to know their ages. She then talked about down the road the types of medication I will need take and the impact on the ovaries. I don’t really know what all the medications are and that will be a question for my Medical Oncologist meeting which is scheduled for next Tuesday afternoon. The days I meet with my doctors are always emotional days for me. My emotions just pour open. The last test (recurrence risk test) I am waiting for won’t have the results back until June 4. At that time I should know for sure the chemo question. Regardless, whatever my treatments will be should most likely begin June 13, the day before Jacob turns 9.

The area that was operated on is feeling better day by day. I have started stretching exercises at home on my right arm. I am determined to not have to be sent to physical therapy to gain the motion back in my arm. The simple task of lifting my right arm above my head has been challenging to this point. My incision site is healing up great.

My mom returned home today to VA. She plans to return back to Chicago the week of June 6 so she can be around when my treatments begin. The kids get out of school June 7 so the extra help will be greatly appreciated.

I just wanted to mention again how much I appreciate all of the meals, cards, flowers, etc. I also read and re-read my care pages on a regular basis. Between the cards and care pages I have a lot of positive people around me so if I feel sad or down I just read these again and they lift my spirits tremendously. It is because of you all is why I feel so strong, positive, and upbeat so THANK YOU for standing by my side through this journey.

Love,
Kim

Hello friends and family. I wanted to give you an update with how I am doing. I am feeling stronger and stronger both mentally and physically. Over the weekend I got out for the first time but by 4:00 p.m. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. Today, I rested and have a lot more energy tonight. I drove today for the first time in 11 days!! Today, I was able to take the kids to school and then to their after school activities. The normalcy feels great! Today was the first day I did not take pain medication.

My next doctor appt is this coming Friday where I will meet with the Radiation Oncologist to discuss radiation treatments. She came highly recommended to me by two gals I know that recently finished their treatments with her.

Today, while I was talking about my surgery and upcoming treatments with the kids, Jacob told me how scary this all must be for me and he told me how brave I am. I told him if he was faced with something like this that I know he too would be so extremely brave. He stopped in the middle of us talking and put his hands together and silently prayed. He told me his prayer was that “you would score low on that test (recurrence risk test) and that you would not need chemotherapy.” Ansley says if I need chemo I should get a long haired blonde wig if I lose my hair. I love these kids!!!!! 🙂

Love,
Kim

One week after surgery and I just got some great news from my surgeon today at my follow up appt. My tumor was measured at only 1.3 cm! Yahoo! They had estimated based on other tests to be between 1.4-2.5 cm. The pathology report also confirmed lymph node negative and all margins are clear which means my surgeon removed all my cancer surrounding the tumor. They staged my breast cancer at Stage IA. The only stage before mine is stage 0. There are 7 stages after mine. (stages are 0, IA, IB, IIA, IIB, IIIA, IIIB, IIIC, and IV.). Everyday I am so thankful that I found this lump myself and that I took immediate action.

The chemotherapy question is still up in the air and will be decided after I meet with my Oncologist in two weeks. There is another test that will need to be done to determine my level of risk for recurrence. Based on the results of this test and me being young will help the doctor and I determine if chemotherapy would be beneficial. Right now I am estimating a 50% chance of needing chemo. Regardless, I will still need six weeks of radiation and will be taking the drug Tamoxifen for the next five years.

The doctor removed my dressings today. I feel better already. He wants me to start using my right arm. I have been babying the arm until now. He also told me to start walking some to get things going again. He said the arm tingy feeling I am getting sometimes can last up to four months. My stitches will dissolve. The incision site near my armpit (where the doc took out my sentinel nodes for testing) hurts more than my breast incision site. He said this is to be expected.

As I sit here and wonder what will happen to me over the coming years like…will this come back and if it does will it come back even worse… I give thanks to God for watching over me today and during this journey. I will freak myself if I ask myself the what if questions so for today I will celebrate being cancer free today!

Love,
Kim

Another success today. I was able to shower and get dressed by myself today without any help. Yay! Each day I have less and less pain. It’s amazing how strong my left hand/arm are becoming (I am a righty and have limited mobility,)

I am scheduled to go visit my surgeon on Thursday afternoon for my followup. I believe he will remove my stitches and check things out. He should also have my pathology report which includes things like tumor size and other “stuff” which will help them determine my treatment plan. After surgery my surgeon estimated my tumor to be approx 2 cm give or take some. Size of a quarter! Surgery was tough and unfortunately this is only the beginning for me. Staying strong! 🙂

Love,
Kim